It’s a fact of life that people disagree from time to time. People occasionally fight. People sometimes forget how to communicate with one another.
This happens to a lot of couples, and it’s perfectly normal. However, it is critical to seek help when these events occur frequently enough to interfere with one or both partners’ happiness.
Support can come in a variety of forms. It could be asking a friend or family member for advice. It can also be having an open and honest conversation with your significant other.
However, unresolved issues may necessitate the assistance of a third party with extensive training to bring peace and understanding.
For partners looking for a safe place to work through conflict and improve their relationships, marriage counseling, premarital counseling, and couples therapy are all options.
However, not all partners will be on the same page when it comes to attending couples therapy. If you have a reluctant spouse, it might take a thoughtful process to successfully discuss couples counseling.
There are ways to overcome the fear and anxiety associated with these potentially sensitive topics. You’re already on the right track if you’re willing to put in the effort to improve your relationship.
Reflect on your own actions first
The first step in having a successful conversation with a loved one is often to reflect on your own feelings. When approaching sensitive topics, it’s important to take a step back and consider your role in the situation.
Taking some time alone to reflect before confronting your partner can also assist you in deciding how to approach the conversation.
If you and your loved one already have strong communication skills, bringing up this topic may be simple. Confrontation, on the other hand, is unique to each individual, and putting a little extra thought into your approach can go a long way.
Self-awareness is a crucial trait for both parties to cultivate when working on their relationship. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues that one or both partners may have can wreak havoc on a relationship.
It may even be beneficial to seek individual therapy at this time. You may gain a better understanding of the underlying causes of your relationship’s problems and determine what personal growth you need to do before addressing your spouse’s shortcomings.
Find a good time to talk
It’s a good idea to set aside some time to talk. When you’re in the middle of a fight or a negative interaction, avoid bringing up a topic like couples therapy.
Remember that you and your partner are teammates, and relationship therapy is intended to bring you two closer together. It should not provide you with new ways to hurt each other.
If you believe this is a sensitive subject, ask your partner for a suitable time to discuss it. Depending on the state of your relationship, it may be best to meet in a public, neutral location, such as a coffee shop, to reduce tension even further.
It’s okay if your spouse is obstinate. It is best to remain calm and solution-oriented in these situations. Just make sure that if you believe it will help, you continue to steer your loved one toward therapy.
Remember that many marriage and family therapists can work with either one or both partners. If you believe you may require assistance or advice in bringing up therapy, a trained professional can assist you in dealing with your situation on an individual basis.
Be honest about why you are suggesting couples counseling
Your private concerns are just that: private. Open communication will assist both romantic partners in realizing that going to therapy can benefit them both.
Discuss the potential benefits of going to therapy or seeing a marriage counselor with your loved one.
Sometimes the problem is as simple as dealing with the normal life transitions that many people go through. In either case, emotionally focused therapy can help you get through difficult times.
This conversation will necessitate excellent communication skills and may leave one or both of you feeling vulnerable. That’s fine as long as you’re safe.
In any situation where you do not feel safe, contact a trained professional who can provide a safe space while you determine the best course of action.
Allow your partner to share their feelings
Conflict within a relationship is often a two-way street. You will both benefit from listening to each other.
Showing them that you care will create a safe haven for both of you to work on healing yourselves and/or your relationship.
From there, a counselor trained in clinical psychology can provide you with tools to move you past your issues and towards a happy life together.
Find a good couples therapist
If you are having trouble with your relationship, you are not alone. Therapy is designed to help you find solutions, whether they are needed individually or between both of you.
A helpful, trained therapist can lead you to a path where you both feel appreciated and find common ground. Don’t lose hope before seeing the potential benefits of couples therapy.
Jan Rackoff, LCSW is a licensed therapist in San Diego, CA, providing psychotherapy services to individuals and couples.
She has spent the last three decades helping individuals and couples work through their issues to develop and maintain secure, long-lasting relationships. Her extensive training makes her a great asset for couples, no matter their struggle.
If you are in the San Diego area, reach out or request a consultation.
Remember to concentrate on what you can control and accept what you cannot. Jan Rakoff, an experienced therapist, can provide you and/or your loved one with hands-on tools to help each other continue to learn and grow as individuals and as a couple.