Marriage is a lifetime journey between two mature minds. Before a marriage can take place, both parties must be ready to commit their time, money, and energy. However, it is a union where both parties make compromises to accommodate each other’s needs.
Therefore, when two people decide to walk down the aisle, both parties must stride through the gate of premarital counseling. Counseling before marriage helps engaged couples, partners build their relationship on a solid foundation.
A marriage built on a strong foundation usually stands the test of time. That is because the premarital counselor will give both partners practical steps to override disagreement and offer solutions instead.
As an engaged couple, stay close to this guide to learn how couples counseling is beneficial for your married life.
Purpose of Premarital Counseling
After the engagement, the next line of action is to book a counseling session.
Premarital counseling is generally a question-and-answer session with the engaged couple, conducted by a religious priest or a therapist. Initially, only religious organizations host premarital counseling sessions with couples before the wedding ceremony.
Religious priests or licensed marriage officers carry this out to educate the man and woman about the journey ahead and how to practically avoid issues. During the earlier days, priests usually refused to join the couples in matrimony once they didn’t go through the premarital session.
But with the advent of private organizations conducting premarital counseling, the job is less stressful for the priests.
There are several reasons why you should go through a premarital counseling session with your partner.
#1. Set Achievable Plans
For marriage to happen, two separate entities with different backgrounds and diverse ideologies will come together. When these two people refuse to talk about their expectations from the marriage, it may flop. Couples should discuss matters of concern to prepare their minds for any challenges and proffer solutions.
#2. Build Communication Skills
Communication between couples strengthens their bonds. Couples should begin to talk about their problem areas and what they expect and identify potential issues in the relationship before marriage.
The therapy sessions help couples speak up about their fears and what the future holds. Couples must keep open communication in their relationship.
#3. Establish a Strong Financial Life
One of the factors that lead to conflicts in marriage is financial planning. Lack of adequate financial plans has led to the divorce of many couples over the years.
Finances have a way of straining a relationship. The reason why premarital counseling is beneficial is that it gives ample opportunity for the couple to plan their finances, incomes, expenditure, savings, and investments.
Most partners may not appreciate surprises or finding out a secret about their spouse’s finances. It’s alright to discuss if you’ll both operate a joint or separate account and how the money sharing will go.
#4. Starting a Family
The marriage and family therapist may ask questions about making babies to the intending couples to know if they have the same interest. As trivial as it may be, some couples may not want it at the beginning of the marriage. Also, some women may want to start having children immediately after their wedding.
Asking questions concerning these aspects will enable both parties to know their stance and work towards it. Similarly, you should discuss your kids’ future and how their education finances will fall through. It will help reduce financial stress in later years.
#5. Observe Their Strengths and Weaknesses
The right therapist and a professional in the field will ask questions based on the couple’s strengths and weaknesses. Both parties have the right to truly know their temperament and patience level.
With the help of a therapist, these traits may come to light so they can decide whether to proceed with the engagement or break it off.
Also, a true counselor should provide practical ways for couples to live with each other regardless of these weaknesses.
External relationships are another aspect that partners need to clear the air on. How would both their families be treated when visiting, and how often would guests visit?
#6. Support Each Other’ Careers
The therapist helps partners realize they need each other’s support while chasing their careers. Most couples may never speak about careers and ambitions before marriage.
After the wedding events, they pop up the question of getting spouses to support a project or career they’re pursuing. Then, a negative response from the spouse could cause discussion and eventually result in misunderstanding.
#7. Know Each Other More
Most couples are always so busy with work that they rarely find time to discuss things as partners. Booking an appointment with a counselor will do a lot more good than harm. That is because you get to communicate and know each other better while answering the soul-searching questions from the counselor.
Is Premarital Counseling Worth the Time?
Although some people might disagree that premarital counseling is necessary. Getting married to someone you know so well is reason enough in and of itself. The following are further arguments in favor of counseling:
- You get to talk about everything, including your sexual life.
- You know each other’s beliefs and respect them.
- You respect and trust each other.
- You get the opportunity to resolve conflict and address some issues.
- You learn each other’s thought patterns.
- You discover each other’s likes and dislikes.
- You learn good communication skills that will keep grudges from lingering in your marriage.
- It’s the time for intimacy and emotional bonding.
In summary, a therapy session before marriage isn’t only worth the time it takes; it is also worth the money and energy invested in it.
Looking to walk down the aisle with your partner soon? Book a premarital counseling session now!
You also deserve a union built on a solid foundation with long-lasting peace of mind. Scheduling an appointment with a premarital counselor will help you discover things about your spouse that you may not have learned.
Jan Rakoff is a seasoned therapist with abilities that help you keep your marriage alive.
Her premarital counseling services over the years have produced marriages that have lasted for decades. She’s helped couples stay together by counseling them, and this has helped reduce the rate of divorce in our society.
Schedule a day for counseling today!