Research has shown that about 50 percent of marriages end in a divorce or separation.
That is indeed, a startling statistic, it is one that many people are aware of, but it can still be quite surprising to hear. When one hears about this type of data point, it would be better to take a more preventative approach to maintain a healthy relationship.
This is to stay; instead of merely going to therapy sessions when a problem arises, it would be best to work with a premarital counselor to learn more about each other, obtain conflict resolution skills, and ensure that you are on the same page.
If you are looking for the right family therapists to conduct premarital counseling, reach out to Jan Rakoff, LCSW, for help. Jan Rakoff, LCSW, understands the need for a strong foundation and holistic counseling sessions that enables couples to handle future conflict.
The Value of A Strong Foundation Through Premarital Counseling Is Undeniable
Couples today have to adopt various methods (including counseling) to preserve their marriages. Premarital counseling is one of the things you can do to save your marriage.
Premarital counseling aims at addressing all issues that may come up between you and your partner before marriage. It is a preventive maintenance method that you can apply to your marriage for its safety.
However, most people skip premarital counseling because it involves sessions before marriage. Couples who do not have enough information will wonder if they must go through premarital counseling.
Premarital counseling removes impending dangers from your marriage. It also educates you on how to address others that might come up. It strengthens the immune system of your relationship with your spouse. It lays a foundation on which you can build the marriage you dream of.
Contact Jan Rakoff, LCSW, to Build A Solid Foundation In Your Relationship Through Premarital Counseling
What Do Premarital Counseling Sessions Do For Couples?
Experts across the globe employ different methods in handling their clients. These methods were invented from the research results held to uncover marriage’s properties at the early stages. And they were developed to address a similar set of problems.
Definition of Premarital counseling
Premarital counseling defines both parties in a marriage and the marriage itself. Parties entering marriage have different characters and beliefs. Sometimes, a significant difference in these aspects makes it harder to find common ground between couples.
A specialist would also help you relate with your partner and understand them better. You would further understand the mechanics of your marriage.
They would help you understand your significant differences and help you resolve differences more amicably. These joint sessions can certainly be eye-opening, and the right professional advice can help you streamline this realization process.
Feasibility
You have plans for your married life, and so does your partner. These plans may include the number of children you want, the choice of education for your children, where you choose to live, and the job you choose to do.
Counseling helps you unify your goals with that of your partner. It also helps to grip your finances because these plans depend on it. Counseling and professional advice would work out the mechanics of the different parts of your marriage and provide you with a realistic model you can work with.
Unresolved Issues
People have challenges they face due to unresolved issues. These issues would affect both parties in the marriage and disrupt bonding, becoming a fundamental problem in the union.
Experts can help you get over these issues so it does not become a problem for you in marriage.
Sex Life
Sex is a fundamental part of your marriage. No doubt, sex changes in marriage. Over time, either party may change or become less interested. Discussing these issues with your partner can also be uneasy.
You don’t have to wait for this stage in your marriage to see a therapist. Adequate counseling can help you discuss with your partner and develop better ways to maintain sexual health.
Dealing with Upcoming Issues
This is an essential part of counseling. Some experts provide resource maps to deal with challenges you may face. It highlights a step-by-step process of what each party should do during these situations.
Counseling strengthens your decision-making and communication skills in preparation for your marriage.
Family and Friends
Marriage involves more than both parties getting married. You have close friends and family members that have been a part of your life before you decided to get married. Some of them may end up causing rifts in your marriage.
In counseling, you will learn how to respect each other and create boundaries.
Fear and Anxiety
Sometimes fear and anxiety come up due to misinformation or lack of information on the subject. You might be afraid to try something new or take such a huge step.
Counseling would help you overcome fear and anxiety. It increases your boldness and promises you a peaceful marriage by equipping you with the necessary skills and information.
Practice
A counselor would tell you to try out some simulated conditions with your partner. The essence of these conditions is for them to observe how you relate to these conditions. It gives you some experience and practice for the real thing.
Your counselor would ask for feedback so they can correct or improve on your decision-making.
When Should I See a Counselor?
Engaged couples have different plans for marriage. After committing to your partner, you may decide to get married the next week or during the year. Therefore, an ultimatum for all marriages cannot work.
Talk to your partner, and make an appointment with a counselor at your earliest convenience. If you start facing some challenges before your appointment, try moving it forward (if possible) before these challenges gravitate.
Premarital counseling may take longer than you think. The first reason is there may be other aspects to what you feel, and the other is that solutions require time and effort from you and your partner.
Getting a Counselor
Hiring a counselor is a crucial step because hiring the wrong hands could lead to problems in your marriage or the ineffectiveness of the whole process. You need a counselor with experience on the job. Try factoring that while you search for one.
Get a counselor with common beliefs with you and your partner or at least a counselor who has experience dealing with it. Beliefs such as religion end up being a huge part of your marriage.
Recommendations would help. Ask your friends and family to recommend qualified counselors they know. You can also get recommendations and read reviews online. Know a little bit about how your counselor works before hiring.
Work with Jan Rakoff, LCSW
After reading all of this, one more question comes to mind: Is premarital counseling worth it?
Yes, it is. Research has proven that couples that undergo premarital counseling end up more satisfied with their marriage and are less likely to divorce or separate.
After counseling, you are bound to enter your marriage with more confidence. It would give you the necessary boost you need. You will be prepared enough to enjoy a great marital life.
Of course, premarital counseling would not prevent all the challenges you may face. Still, remember that it enables you to address these challenges if they come up and improves your decision-making skills.
Counseled couples are more educated on average. They have been educated not only on the marriage system but also on how they work best with each other. Such couples do not end up clueless in their marriage.
Furthermore, couples develop communication skills in counseling that help them address issues. It also helps them understand what they want and how to secure everyone’s happiness.
Premarital counseling is undeniably effective and will go a long way in your marriage. Try picking the best counseling option for you and your partner.
You can practice before meeting with a counselor. The sessions include questions you may find uncomfortable to answer and situations that would seem awkward. Try to get used to it before your sessions.
Bring up issues you’ve discovered between you. A good counselor would ask for this during the sessions. It helps your counselor narrow down other problems that need to be addressed.
The process may not be easy. You and your partner would have to make compromises for each other. Follow the process through to achieve the desired results.
A healthy marriage means a happy life. You deserve to live in marital bliss with your partner. It is in your best interest to secure your marital health. Ensure you get adequate counseling before your marriage.
Jan Rakoff has extensive experience conducting premarital counseling and helping you with communication styles, setting realistic expectations, and resolving potential conflicts while sticking to a long-term commitment.
She offers a space for communication, therapy, and airing concerns.
If you require professional help and seek reduced conflict in your relationship, reach out to Jan Rakoff, LCSW today.
